Trailers, Trailers, Trailers #3
AKA Why Didn’t I Think Of A Better Name For This Segment?
After being criticized for being too negative, I decided to review some trailers for movies that actually look promising instead of horrible (or at least better than painfully average, which may be worse than horrible.) Of course, these reviews are based solely on the trailers, and trailermaking seems to be an art lost on most trailermakers, so a few decent movies get a poor reputation before they’re even out of the gate. (Apparently, in this metaphor, movies are horses. Go with it.)
Harry Potter and The Many-Worded Magical Name Pt. 2
Released July 15, 2011
Movies should be discussed with respect to their genre and audience. It isn’t fair to be angry that a romantic comedy didn’t have enough action or that a sci-fi flick didn’t seem very realistic. And, really, you’d be sort of a dick to assert so. The Harry Potter movies certainly need to be discussed in terms of their being fantasy, relatively all-ages, and based upon a book series. Why the need for the disclaimer? Because there’s a lot of Potterhate wafting from the, I’m going to assume jock-mouths, of non-fans. For some reason they feel the need to criticize a movie based on a book they have no interest in.
If you haven’t read the books, it’s not likely you’ll completely love the movie because you’ll be confused about the details, especially if you just started dating a Potter fan a few months ago and they’re dragging you to the theatre. What, they don’t have any other friends they could bring? Why don’t they just go by themselves? I’ll tell you why: because this looks like an entertaining movie regardless of whether you know precisely what’s going on.
Aside from the magic fighting, a giant snake, a fire-breathing dragon, a flaming snake, and Snape, there’s the fact that the second half of the final book consists of an epic battle. There are bad wizards and good wizards. That’s really all you need to know. Fight, fight, fight!
And for Potter fans, as usual, it will probably be an emotional and action-packed conclusion to a fun and satisfying fantasy series. Honestly, I enjoyed the books far more and thought the movies never reached my expectations, but I sense this one will be a top three winner at the Kentucky Derby this summer (the movies are horses, dammit – remember?!)
Released November 23, 2011
Here is another movie with a built-in fan base that requires a disclaimer before discussing the rating. I don’t like this trailer. The cutesy pretending-it’s-a-romantic-comedy-but-really-it’s-a-muppet-movie-omfg concept doesn’t work for me. Mostly because the footage, I assume, is pulled from the actual movie and therefore makes me want to recoil with vomit-in-my-mouth fear.
But, it’s a muppet movie written by the tried and tested Jason Segel. He’s arguably the best part of How I Met Your Mother as well as the writer of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the character creator for Get Him To The Greek. He also played Kyle from Dead Man on Campus: the man has range (just keep him away from your freshman facebook.) Also, this is pretty great. And that fake trailer stuff was pulled out of context.
I’m supposed to be basing my rating on the impression the trailer leaves, but since I’m my own boss, I’m going to rate this based on my gut instinct. Also, how can this be bad:
Those a little too far off for you?
X-Men: First Class
Released June 3, 2011
I’ve heard good and bad things about this movie. But, the bad things are your typical judgements from people who don’t like comic book movies or nerding out (see earlier for notes on dickish assertions.)
People are sour over X-Men III sucking so hard it was like a vacuum cleaner that sucked up itself. Okay, it was as bad as that simile I just made. But, comics brands and story lines are redone in several unique titles that are complete entities of their own. And moviewise, it’d be like dismissing Batman Begins because Batman & Robin sucked as hard as the aforementioned impossible vacuum.
And, I know, I know, Hollywood can’t do anything original anymore because everything is a sequel, prequel, origin story, based on a book, game, or other movie, sometimes released within the same decade.
One downside is January Jones appearing as her usual frigid bitch self. But, since she’s Emma Frost… it probably works? I watched the X-Men cartoon on Saturday mornings as a kid and I’ve been inspired by the series for my own fantasy world creations ever since, so I’m biased. From what I can see in the trailer, the action, alternate history, and development of the classic characters as teenagers looks exciting. I imagine it’ll be less of a hoover and more of a thoroughbred hoofer (when we pretend that means horses and not dancers.)