Archive | October 2011

The Weekend Pregame: October 14th


Here’s this week’s link to the trailers and predictions for The Big Year, Footloose (2: The Footloosening*), and The Thing! MovieBoozer is running a contest for Halloween, so check out the link on the sidebar on how to enter while you’re hangin’ out over there.

 

*Not really.

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Rad Tatts: Biblical Ink

Bible-inspired tattoos.

Daniel 12:3 Star

[source]

Rating: Borderline Bad

Underneath my skin? Is skin. With words on it. Daniel 12:3 to be exact. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? No? Well… you can kind of make out some of the words. I cut my skin into a star because the verse has the word STARS in it. Get it? It’s meta. Like having skin inside your skin. Except the 2nd skin doesn’t have any chest hair, because I waxed it. Jesus would have wanted it that way.

 

Weary Jesus Arm

[source]

Rating: Bad

Check out this sad Jesus on my arm wearing the crown of thorns. Depressing, huh? There are a bunch of happy flowers at the bottom in case you get too sad looking at it. The extra awesome part is my arm pimples become Jesus’s chest acne, so sometimes it looks like he ate too many chocolate bars. I like to imagine he has the exact same skin tone as me. Jesus would have wanted it that way.

 

Posh Spice’s Neck Lettering (in Hebrew)

(“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, who grazes among lilies.”)

[source]

Rating: Borderline Good

Oi! Dis be moi jolly good tatt on moi neck, now idn’t it? It’s in ‘ebrew coz dat’s duh language duh Old Testament wuz wri’in in!

The Weekend Pregame: October 7th

The two wide releases for this weekend are The Ides of March and Real Steel. My trailer preview over at MovieBoozer.com reveals how they represent the DOs and DON’Ts of filmmaking.

Viddy This: “Sandwiches” by Detroit Grand Pubahs

Time for another music video breakdown and review. The Detroit Grand Pubahs members are Paris the Black Fu, The Mysterious Mr O., and Dr. Toefinger (who sadly left the group in 2004.) This song was released in 2000, and I just thought of it the other day, strangely enough when I was turned on by a sandwich.

480p is as excellent quality as we can get, which is probably a plus for some of these screencaps.

I’m already confused. Floppy cucumbers? Cucumber-themed gratification devices? We immediately get a taste for DGP’s year 2000 humour: dwarves holding dildesque objects.

Whoa, did you see that?

This dude flashes on screen shortly after the song starts. It’s not exactly subliminal length; rather, it’s long enough to make me feel like I do when a guy who looks like this is watching me on the bus.

This guy wants to make sandwiches with you on the dance floor. You’re the bun while he’s the burger, girl. Why not hot dog? Please. This isn’t amateur hour. The lyrics to this song are already loaded with romantic symbolism. He’s like a modern day retarded black Shakespeare.

See, I don’t desire a higher resolution for that.

Let’s take a moment to discuss the music quality. The beat is what I like to refer to as your classic ‘Casio Beat’: as in, someone pushed the “dance” button on their 1980s Casio keyboard and they were done. His voice is highly electronically processed and someone pushed the “quaaludes” button on Auto Tune.

The cast is an eclectic mix of Detroit talent.

That’s some nice variety, right there.

Rating: Bad

Sorry DGP. Even for 2000, this video is uninspired and weird. Midgets, fat people dancing, and sketchy group members don’t pass for the comedic edge you seem to be going for. I also don’t feel like making sandwiches any time soon.

And nobody is EVER allowed do that to me.