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Hardcore Fans: Twilight Edition

My Life Is Twilight

Rating: Bad

This site was brought to my attention when it was featured on Filmdrunk in 2009. I can’t think about hardcore fans without thinking about sparkling vamps and sexy minority werewolves.

This is a place where Twilight fans (also known as Twitards) can squeal out a sentence or two about how their life is omgsomuch like the movie.

Here are some of the Top 100 along with some very telling fan photos.

“As of now, I have 4 days til I get on my Greyhound. Destination? FORKS:D I’m moving there. Seriously. My apartment’s already set up. I have a job at a Twilight tourist shop. I love my life! MLIT.” [BG Note: Have fun working a retail job in the ass end of nowhere because you think mormon housewife fantasies are real.]

“Today, I had a dream that I was making out with Taylor Lautner. In the dream, I stopped him, and told him that I was only hooking up with him because I was pretending he was Jacob Black. MLIT.” [BG Note: Ugh. Even your dreams are lame.]

“Today, my mom and I were driving home when we passed a doctors office. The sign said “Dr. Cullen MD. But Dont Worry, I Don’t Bite.” LMAO. MLIT. :)” [BG Note: Ha ha, I get it. Because he’s going to molest your kids.]

“Today my boyfriend and I were watching twilight, when the kissing scene came on, my boyfriend switched it off and tried his best to re-enact the scene, even trying to fly off the bed. It was so cute. MLIT” [BG Note: Sounds like he was trying to flee.]

“Today, I sat down in this cute bar and just as I was about to leave a guy who looked excactly like Jasper walked in. Just to be funny I walked up to him and we reanacted the ‘Alice-Jasper’ meeting scene in Eclipse. My name is Alice, and his name is Jasper. We’re going out on Friday. MLIT” [BG Note: I’m pretty sure the only true part of that story is that is she was sitting.]

“Last night when I was walking home from the bar because I am a maritime lawyer I accidentally tripped down the stairs and this guy caught me. His name was Edward. We talked for a while and he asked me how old I was. I said 24 and he replied, “How long have you been 24?” We’re going on a date. MLIT.” [BG Note: Is being a maritime lawyer (Chareth Cutestory?) your reason for being at a bar or for falling down? Did he possibly mean you’re lying about being 24 because that’s pretty young to be a sea lawyer rather than thinking you’re a vampire?]

Oh, and if you weren’t aware, that’s a Twilight themed fleshlight above. Don’t know what that is? Well, it’s for a man’s special private time. So that exists.

(Original photo sources: Bedward Room, She Dreams About Hamburgers More, Fleshlight)