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Viddy This: “Sandwiches” by Detroit Grand Pubahs

Time for another music video breakdown and review. The Detroit Grand Pubahs members are Paris the Black Fu, The Mysterious Mr O., and Dr. Toefinger (who sadly left the group in 2004.) This song was released in 2000, and I just thought of it the other day, strangely enough when I was turned on by a sandwich.

480p is as excellent quality as we can get, which is probably a plus for some of these screencaps.

I’m already confused. Floppy cucumbers? Cucumber-themed gratification devices? We immediately get a taste for DGP’s year 2000 humour: dwarves holding dildesque objects.

Whoa, did you see that?

This dude flashes on screen shortly after the song starts. It’s not exactly subliminal length; rather, it’s long enough to make me feel like I do when a guy who looks like this is watching me on the bus.

This guy wants to make sandwiches with you on the dance floor. You’re the bun while he’s the burger, girl. Why not hot dog? Please. This isn’t amateur hour. The lyrics to this song are already loaded with romantic symbolism. He’s like a modern day retarded black Shakespeare.

See, I don’t desire a higher resolution for that.

Let’s take a moment to discuss the music quality. The beat is what I like to refer to as your classic ‘Casio Beat’: as in, someone pushed the “dance” button on their 1980s Casio keyboard and they were done. His voice is highly electronically processed and someone pushed the “quaaludes” button on Auto Tune.

The cast is an eclectic mix of Detroit talent.

That’s some nice variety, right there.

Rating: Bad

Sorry DGP. Even for 2000, this video is uninspired and weird. Midgets, fat people dancing, and sketchy group members don’t pass for the comedic edge you seem to be going for. I also don’t feel like making sandwiches any time soon.

And nobody is EVER allowed do that to me.

Viddy This

Music Videos

 

Nicki Minaj: Did It On ‘Em

Rating: Terrible

[Ed note: when this was originally posted, there was no music video for it – only a screen cap of her ugly album cover, or something…]

I debated linking to this since it may give the video even one or two more views. Is this some elaborate joke like when Joaquin Phoenix pretended to quit acting, start a rap career, and act like an anti-social douche? The beat sounds like it’s from a Casio keyboard played over someone’s phone. She isn’t even rhyming. Throughout the part of the song I got through, she rhymes 90% of the lines with the same word as the previous one. I also don’t understand the whole, ‘don’t fuck with this bitch in the pink fairy wings and stripper heels or she’ll literally shit on your face’ thing. Let’s see if I need a dick to piss on it.

For bonus negative points, look at the comments below the video. It doesn’t matter when, they will be the worst “words” you will ever “read.”


Weezer: Memories

Rating: Bad

Somehow this song makes me sadder than the Nicki one.

Commenter: “31people dont have memory.. lol”

Yeah, I’m going to venture a guess that you were going uh-ohs in your dipes when Weezer’s last great album came out. I have memories of when Weezer were actually talented musicians instead of professional Phoning It In Technicians.


Arcade Fire: The Suburbs

Rating: Good

Thanks guys, I needed that.

This isn’t getting a higher rating, despite the great song, because I can’t watch the live stream of Egypt celebrations and still feel for the “white people problems” of the video.